


Four Times Oikawa Cried In Front of Iwaizumi and One Time He Didn’t

by lolzornacho



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 4+1 Things, 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying Oikawa Tooru, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Oikawa deserves better, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolzornacho/pseuds/lolzornacho
Summary: Oikawa’s heart thumped loudly against his chest as he slowly opened his eyes, tears forming again as he thought about how much he wanted Iwaizumi to kiss him on the lips, not just the corner of his mouth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> HI THIS IS MY FIRST HAIKYUU FIC SO SORRY IF IT SEEMS LOWKEY OOC. STAY FOR MORE SENTIMENTAL NOTES AT THE END AND ALSO PLEASE READ AND COMMENT ANYTHING I NEED TO IMPROVE ON. PLEASE ENJOY MY SHITTY WRITING

1.

“Oikawa! Stop!”

Iwaizumi called out as he wrapped an arm around Oikawa’s waist, holding him in a tight grip as an act to refrain Oikawa from punching Kageyama in the face. Who has both eyes wide open, mouth slightly open, fixing Oikawa with a look of confusion and terror with a volleyball that he was hoping to learn how to do serve in his hand. 

“Sorry, Kageyama, but I think you should go home, I’m really sorry,” Iwaizumi said to Kageyama.

The poor boy immediately nodded and dropped the volleyball in his hand, sprinting towards the exit, the sound of his sneakers squeaking against the hard, glossed floor echoing throughout the whole gymnasium. Iwaizumi waited until he heard the “thump” of the door closing shut before he took a deep breath and snapped his head so fast he heard cracking sounds to Oikawa.

“Trashykawa, what the fuck? What do you think you’re doing? What would you have done if I weren’t here? STOP SQUIRMING!” Iwaizumi yelled out at Oikawa, who was squirming in his arms.

“Fuck you, Iwaizumi!” 

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened at the sound of this, he’s never seen Oikawa behave this way. No matter how much Iwaizumi punched and scolded Oikawa, he never retorted back seriously or used “Iwaizumi”. It was always “Iwa-chan”, never “Iwaizumi”. Never. 

“Fuck you, Iwaizumi! Why would you pull me back? Fuck you!” Oikawa screamed, tears forming in his large, brown eyes.

Oikawa rarely cried. Iwaizumi could count the number of times he’s seen Oikawa truly cry on his fingers which was when he accidentally tore Oikawa’s painting back in their primary school days and when Oikawa’s dad got admitted to a hospital because of a stroke. Anyways, the thing was, Oikawa never cried.

“Oikawa, what’s wrong?” Iwaizumi frowned, he was never good at comforting people, he didn’t know what to do that was comforting, which was very troubling at times. 

“Iwaizumi, you don’t understand! I’m not good enough, I’m never good enough! I’ll never be good enough at volleyball, never! No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be good enough!” Oikawa screamed at Iwaizumi, he could only look at Oikawa with his mouth slightly opened, obviously shocked.

Wordlessly, Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa into a tight hug. The sound of Oikawa’s sobs echoed around the gymnasium as he punched Iwaizumi’s back, while crying his eyes out. Iwaizumi never saw Oikawa reduced to a state like this.

“Oi, Shittykawa, what are you saying? Huh? Why are you so affected because of Kageyama? There are plenty of people who are better than you at volleyball but that doesn’t mean you suck! You’re the best setter I know already, and we both know you try very hard. Is that not enough for you?” Iwaizumi light-heartedly scolded a now trembling Oikawa who was still in his arms, sniffling while tears ran down his face.

“Don’t ever say or think that about yourself that way, ok? You’re good enough already for me, Assikawa. I think you’re fucking great.” At this point, Oikawa has stopped sobbing, but there were still big, fat, tears running down his cheeks, leaking from his big, brown eyes.

“God, you really are the ugliest crier in the world.” Iwaizumi muttered, as he cupped Oikawa’s face, wiping his tears away.

“I-Iwa-chan, y-you’re so m-mean to me,” Oikawa sniffed, switching back to “Iwa-chan”.

Iwaizumi felt slightly more relieved at the sound of his nickname that he was so used to hearing everyday. It broke his heart to see his childhood best friend get reduced into this, and Iwaizumi hated seeing Oikawa cry.

“Come on, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s hand, pulling him up into a standing position. “Let’s go home, I’ll even buy you the milk bread you won’t ever shut up about.”

There was a moment of silent before Oikawa opened his mouth, and Iwaizumi knew he wasn’t talking about the milk bread. 

“Thanks, Hajime.” 

“No problem, Tooru.”  
\---

2.

The whole team remained silent in the changing room. Not a word was exchanged between the team members, the atmosphere in the room was heavy, it was silent, it was bad. The smell of sweat mixed with disappointment and sadness was suffocating him. Inside the changing room, Iwaizumi could hear the cries of victory from members of Karasuno. Tanaka could be heard doing his infamous victory cry and Iwaizumi could hear Hinata screaming at Kageyama. 

Iwaizumi knew that he should be happy for Karasuno, but, fuck, they trained so hard for this shit and it was honestly such a disappointment. He clenched his fists as he slammed his locker shut.

Looking around him, he saw his teammates changing out of their team uniform, shuffling amongst themselves quietly. He didn’t miss the red, teary eyes of some of his teammates and he definitely did not miss the sight of tears running down of their faces. Iwaizumi bit his lip as he tried to contain himself, not letting the tears fall down.

“We’re heading out now to get some air.” Matsukawa murmured as he reached for the door knob. Matsukawa was followed by Hanamaki, then Kindaichi. Then, there was only Oikawa and Iwaizumi left in the room.

Oikawa. Who has been wordless since the last point. The atmosphere around them was uncomfortable as the room lacked of Oikawa’s usual teasing and “so mean, Iwa-chan!”. That worried Iwaizumi.

“Oikawa.” Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa, and he knows that Oikawa is trying his hardest not to cry. 

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi repeated, as he reached out for Oikawa. 

Oikawa flinched at his touch, but he didn’t pull away. He let himself get pushed onto one of the benches in the changing room.

“It’s okay to cry, you know.” Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa’s face, and forced him to look at Iwaizumi straight in the eye. The boy’s eyes were red and filled with tears that threatened to spill out anytime.

“We lost, Iwa-chan.” With that, tears started spilling out of Oikawa’s eyes, tears that were flowing non-stop. 

Iwaizumi hated when Oikawa was like this. He hated when Oikawa was crying without a word, it’s like Oikawa has given up already, and fuck, Iwaizumi hates that shit. 

“We worked so hard,” Oikawa started trembling.

“I know, I know,” Iwaizumi forced Oikawa’s face into his chest as he himself started to cry, too.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi both grieved their wasted months of training and hard work, their sleepless nights as they tried to cram homework and volleyball into the same schedule. Oikawa and Iwaizumi both let out their months and months of pent up sadness and frustration out, sitting on the damp bench of the changing room, head on each other’s shoulders.

“It’s okay, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi choked. “We’ll try again. We’ll get them next time.” 

They stayed that way for a long, long time until their coach told them that the bus was going to leave. 

\---

3.  
Oikawa skipped school for the first time without telling Iwaizumi why. Despite what people might think of him, Oikawa was a goody-two shoes who poured his heart and soul into his academics and he was not one to be skipping school. With no reason, at the least. 

Iwaizumi hated to admit it, but he was worried sick. And angry, of course, because who the fuck does Oikawa think he is and where the fuck is he? After a day of bombarding Oikawa’s phone with texts and phone calls that he is not picking up, Iwaizumi decided to do something he thought he’ll never do. He decided to skip practice and went to Oikawa’s house to see exactly where the fuck he went.

It was winter time in Miyagi, and fuck it was cold. Iwaizumi shivered as he rubbed his hands to create friction in an attempt to create body heat.That little shit better have a good reason waiting for me, making me skip practice. Iwaizumi thought to himself as he stormed to Oikawa’s place that he practically grew up in. 

As he arrived at Oikawa’s door he punched the doorbell twice. Silence. He pressed the bell four more times. Nothing. He tried again, still nothing. 

“Oi, Shittykawa! I know you’re in there, open the fucking door!” And still, there was so response. That little fucker. Iwaizumi thought to himself as he fished out an extra copy of Oikawa’s house key. Being childhood friends with someone comes with perks. One being that you get a copy of their house key. 

Iwaizumi inserted the key into the lock and twisted it, opening the door stepping in without even bothering to take off his shoes. Oikawa’s mum usually worked until late at night so Iwaizumi didn’t need to worry about that. 

“Oikawa! I’m coming up right now!” Iwaizumi shouted as he walked towards Oikawa’s room and yanked the door open.

“Oi, Assikawa, where the fu-” Iwaizumi stopped mid-sentence at the sight laid out in front of him. 

Oikawa was a mess.

There were so many things wrong with what Iwaizumi was seeing right now. There were torn up family pictures surrounding Oikawa, and a million of used up tissues bunched up in one corner. Oikawa looked like a mess, his hair was even messier than usual, his clothes were dirty and most importantly, he was crying.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa croaked, a fake smile plastered on his face. The way he said Iwaizumi’s nickname lacked of his usual playfulness.

“Oi, what happened in here? Oikawa, what happened to you?” Iwaizumi’s frown deepened as he rushed to Oikawa’s side and cupped his face, wiping his tears off furiously.

“My father died.” Was all Oikawa said before more tears spilled out of his eyes.

Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa’s father was sick. Very sick. After his third stroke, Oikawa’s father’s sickness turned from bad to worse, but Iwaizumi didn’t know that it was this bad.

“What?” Was all Iwaizumi could manage to say.

“I said, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa took in a shaky breath. “My dad died,” Oikawa’s voice broke in the middle of saying that, and he started sobbing.

“Oikawa, I’m so sorry,” Iwaizumi forcefully pulled Oikawa into a tight hug, not letting him escape.

Oikawa’s tears started to drip onto Iwaizumi’s shoulders, but Iwaizumi didn’t care.

“I-I, we got a call at 1:30am, and I knew it was bad,” Oikawa choked out, “I-Iwa-chan, his heart r-rate when from 120 to 60 then 40 then 0, a-and the machine w-won’t stop b-beeping, God, Iwa-chan, it was so fucking horrible to see,” 

“I’m here for you, Tooru.” Iwaizumi whispered, threading his fingers in and out of Oikawa’s thick and soft locks.

“His breathing, oh my God, Iwa-chan. He didn’t breathe for a fucking minute and he took his last breath, it was so fucking horrible.”

“I wasn’t a good son, I didn’t do enough, Iwa-chan, I’m not a good son,” Oikawa’s whole face scrunched up as he thought back on the past three, long, painful years.

“Oika- “

“Iwa-chan, I could’ve talked more to him, I could’ve helped him more, but I didn’t. Instead, I just spent all my time on volleyball instead of him, god, Iwa-chan, what kind of son am I?” Something snapped inside of Iwaizumi. He hated seeing Oikawa this way, he hated this. He felt something inside his heart as he watched Oikawa cry, Iwaizumi wanted to kiss Oikawa and tell him that everything will be alright, because it will be. Iwaizumi wanted to hold Oikawa’s hand and make him happy, he just wants Oikawa to stop with his plastic smiles and only reserve his true, genuine smiles for Iwaizumi alone.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said in a voice so stern that even Oikawa snapped his head up to look his best friend straight in the eye.

“Oikawa, listen to me.” Iwaizumi took Oikawa’s face in his hands. “You are a good son, alright? You’ve done enough. I know you’ve done enough. I’m sure your dad is grateful as fuck to have a son like you, no matter how irritating and whinny you can be.”

“Tooru, you are enough.” 

That night, Oikawa slept in Iwaizumi’s arms, still crying. Iwaizumi wiped Oikawa’s dried tears stain with a tissue as he watched his breathing even out, his chest rising and falling with every breath that he took.

Iwaizumi pressed his lips against Oikawa’s forehead, then his cheeks, then at the corner of his lips, not daring to kiss Oikawa square in the lips.

“I love you, Tooru. I just want you to be okay.” Iwaizumi slipped under the covers, slinging an arm around Oikawa’s waist. It was cold, but the blankets and Oikawa’s body temperature made everything feel warm again, especially inside his heart.

Oikawa’s heart thumped loudly against his chest as he slowly opened his eyes, tears forming again as he thought about how much he wanted Iwaizumi to kiss him on the lips, not just the corner of his mouth.

\---  
4.

Iwaizumi’s eyes opened reluctantly as he could no longer ignore the blasting sound of his ringtone. God, he has never hated his phone ever this much. He rubbed his eyes, and turned on his phone, eyes wincing at the sudden brightness of his phone screen. Oikawa’s name flashed repeatedly on his screen as he rolled his eyes, swiping his phone and pressing it against his ears.

“Oikawa, it’s 3:18am right now, you better have a good fuc- “

“Iwa-chan.” 

It was the way that Oikawa said Iwaizumi’s nickname that made Iwaizumi freeze and become awake in one instant. Oikawa wasn’t like his usual, bubbly self. His voice was low and quiet and he sounds…defeated? Iwaizumi instantly shot up, sitting on his bed, his vision blurred as he rubbed his eyes.

“Oikawa, what’s wrong, what happened, where are yo- “

“Can you come to the park, please?” Oikawa whispered.

“Give me 5 minutes, stay where you are, Tooru, don’t even move an inch.” With that, Iwaizumi hung out, sprinting out of bed.

Iwaizumi brushed his teeth, his hand moving rapidly and snatched up his school jersey and a coat that’s been sitting on his chair before sprinting out the door. The weather outside was cold as fuck, Iwaizumi thought to himself, as mist started to form as he breathed in and out of his mouth.

Five minutes later, Iwaizumi found himself at the nearby park, looking at Oikawa sitting on one of the swings, only wearing a t-shirt and a thin jacket. Oikawa looked ruffled up, his hair was a mess, there were hair sticking out in every direction possible. And under the dim lighting of the street lights, Iwaizumi could see the dark circles that represented his friend’s major lack of sleep under his red-eyes. As Iwaizumi walked closer, he could see that Oikawa was trembling.

“Oikawa, what the fuck? You’re going to freeze to death, take my jacket,” Iwaizumi frowned, taking off his coat and wrapping it around Oikawa’s broad, yet cold shoulders. Iwaizumi took a seat on the swing next to Oikawa.

“Shoot.” Was all he said.

There was a moment of silence, the only sounds around them were only Oikawa and Iwaizumi breathing in and out, and Oikawa looked terrible. Iwaizumi was about to open his mouth again to ask exactly what the hell was going on before Oikawa began.

“Iwa-chan,” Under the dim moonlight, Iwaizumi could see his eyes glistening with tears. “My mum kicked me out.” 

“Wha-why?” Iwaizumi was at a loss of words. Having practically grown up at Oikawa’s house, he knew that Oikawa’s mum absolutely adored her son. So it just didn’t make any sense.

“I came out to her,” 

“Iwa-chan, I told her I was gay.”

Iwaizumi was slightly taken aback. Everyday, Oikawa had hundreds of annoying and high-pitched sounding girls surrounding him, offering him tokens of love and appreciation like food and baked goods. Oikawa never refused any of them, he always took them, and ate every single piece of it, even boasting about how popular he was with the ladies, Iwa-chan. Which always resulted in Iwaizumi either punching him or calling him names. So no, the thought that Oikawa was something other than straight never crossed his mind.

But then again, the girls that surrounded Oikawa weren’t ugly, hell, they were gorgeous and totally Oikawa’s type. They had long, brown hair that reached their waist, and they had big, shiny eyes that always looked up to Oikawa, so lovingly. But Oikawa never went out with any of them. He always trailed behind Iwaizumi. Always.

It’s not like Iwaizumi had a problem with Oikawa being gay, fuck no, he would be a complete fucking liar if he said that he had absolutely no feelings for his childhood friend. But to think that Oikawa’s mum would reject her son this way…? Fuck, that broke Iwaizumi’s heart into pieces.

“Iwa-chan, do you hate me too?” Oikawa’s voice sounded broken, and even though his face remained blank, Iwaizumi could tell that Oikawa was trying his best not to cry.

“Wha-What, fuck no! Oikawa! Why would you fucking think that? Of course I don’t hate you!” Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa, before softening his glare. He took Oikawa’s ice cold hands into his warmer ones.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said in the softest voice that he could master, and that pinpointed the exact moment that Oikawa broke down.  
“Iwa-chan, why doesn’t my mum love me? Why won’t she accept me? I just want people to love me, Iwa-chan, I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED!” Oikawa shrieked, his hands wrestling with Iwaizumi’s, but it was no use, Iwaizumi’s iron grip on his hands were too strong. Tears were flowing out of his eyes like a non-stop waterfall.

“IWA-CHAN! Why can’t I be straight? Why must I be gay? Why can’t I be loved?” Oikawa was sobbing into Iwaizumi’s chest now, his whole body trembling.

“She called me a faggot, she said that no son of her was gay, she said that she was going to disown me, Iwa-chan. She said that my father never wanted a son like me, what am I going to do? I already lost my father, I can’t lose my mum, I just want to be loved,”

“Oikawa, I love you, it’s okay, Oikawa, I love you.” Iwaizumi whispered into Oikawa’s ears.

“Iwa-chan,” 

“Stay over at my place tonight.” Like any other time, Oikawa let himself get dragged away, not even noticing how fast his heart was beating in his chest after hearing Iwaizumi say “I love you”. Oikawa was too exhausted right now, and he just wanted to rest. He just wanted to escape with Iwaizumi.

\---  
+1

Months passed, and nothing has been heard from Oikawa’s mum yet. But that’s alright, because Oikawa has been staying at Iwaizumi’s house, where he was certainly very welcomed at.

They never spoke much about that one night, where Oikawa completely lost it. The only time where they spoke about Oikawa’s sexuality was when Oikawa came out to the team, and Iwaizumi said that he would fucking bash their skulls into the walls so hard if anyone had something to say about Oikawa’s sexuality. It seemed like the whole team knew before Iwaizumi did and since then, they kept on casting weird looks at Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s direction whenever they were together. Even Kindaichi.

Right now, they were lying on Iwaizumi’s bed, side by side. Iwaizumi breathed in, taking in the lavender scent of his room. Reason behind that being that Oikawa wouldn’t stop complaining about how much Iwaizumi’s room stinks and begged him to buy an air freshener and Iwaizumi always, always, gave into Oikawa. Oikawa was next to him, fiddling with his phone mindlessly and Iwaizumi was staring at him. Oikawa is so pretty, he thought to himself. It’s been months and Iwaizumi finally figured out that he wanted Oikawa to be more than just a childhood best friend in his life, and Iwaizumi was surprisingly okay with it. Even if Oikawa might not return his feelings, that’ll be okay, as long as Oikawa was by his side.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa broke the silence,

“Hmm?” Iwaizumi replied, still staring at Oikawa’s features.

Oikawa’s head suddenly snapped up, and he looked straight into Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi was caught off guard, and the pencil that he was twirling around in his hands went flying off the bed. Normally, when Oikawa caught Iwaizumi doing something like this, he would tease Iwaizumi about it until Iwaizumi whacked him in the face. But this time, Oikawa still remained silent.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa repeated. “Did you mean it when you said that you loved me that night at the park?”

Iwaizumi froze. He knew that this was going to come up in a conversation sometime. There was absolutely no way Oikawa would let that slip. No way. 

“Of course, I love you, dumbass, you’re my best friend.” Iwaizumi feigned annoyance, but he knew he wasn’t fooling anybody.

“We both know that that isn’t what I’m talking about, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa’s eyes were still fixed on Iwaizumi’s, his expression blank.

“I-I, Oikawa, I’m sorry, I really like you, I’m sorry, I-”Iwaizumi began, his heart dropping as he knew that there was no way he was getting out of this. Oh my God, there goes their 15 years of friendship, volleyball practice is going to so fucking awkward, there isn-

“Iwa-chan, I love you too.” Iwaizumi head snapped to Oikawa. Oikawa had a soft expression on his face, with a soft smile on his face. That smile was Iwaizumi’s favourite smile. That smile, unlike Oikawa’s fake, deceiving smiles, was actually genuine, and Iwaizumi could count the number of times he saw that smile on Oikawa’s face.

“I-, do you mean that?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Yes, Iwa-chan.” 

“I’m going to kiss you right now.”

“Okay.”

Iwaizumi lifted his head and leaned in, pressing his lips against Oikawa’s soft but chapped lips, taking Oikawa’s hand in his own. Iwaizumi felt his heart thump hard against his chest, and he felt like his heart was going to explode, but that’s okay, because he’s kissing Oikawa right now. 

Things may not be looking great for Oikawa right now, but for the first time in sixteen years, he felt like he truly belong.

**Author's Note:**

> So a few weeks ago my dad passed away because of a stroke and other sickness (hence Oikawa's dad) and I’m having such a fucking difficult time coming to terms with my sexuality and other bad shit has been happening in my life and I'm honestly really not at a good place right now. So, hey, what better to do than to pour my feelings into an angsty IwaOi fic? Anyways, thanks for reading this and please leave a kudos and comment! I'll really appreciate any constructive feedback or prompts or just anything. Thanks for reading!


End file.
